Jailbreak K9+U: How to unf*ck your walkies
Do you ever feel like you're living in a jail built with the bricks formed out of other people's opinions?
Like you're constantly second-guessing yourself, worried about what others might think?
You're not alone.
It’s bonkers that we are hard wired to seek validation to satisfy the safety in numbers bias that plays a role in pretty much all decision making, most often without us being aware of it at all - therein lies the trap!
But guess what? Freedom is within your grasp!
It’s really not difficult to emancipate yourself and your pooch, get some pep back in your step, and live your best life.
I wonder what these people actually see.
Toby the Terrible, being a menace to society.
I was out with Toby and Whisky for their muddy run that we do almost every day at around lunch time - we go to a massive country park with no leashes and it’s a no training zone because the learning they get from their innate curiosity is so valuable - within minutes they were filthy and I was smiling from ear to ear!
That is, until we encountered a sour, joyless creature that seemed hellbent on sucking the joy out of our day as they had so clearly done to their whole existence. This person was as mean as a wet cat.
I’m pretty sure we all know the type… lots of shouting, finger pointing, and bizarrely confident rants about fearing for their safety (while announcing themselves to a previously oblivious dog while being aggressive to their human companion), which invariably spirals into threats and insults. My favourite is when they call the police #SMH
All the while their poor dog stands there with glazed eyes and doing its best to be invisible. It doesn’t matter to an egomaniac that their dog has checked-out because to them their abuse simply looks like obedience.
I used to stand up for myself and defend myself and the dogs I am entrusted with but I’ve come to realise that people will only change when they want to and I refuse to play any part in taking any light from the eyes of a dog!
Now, as I cue a relaxed relocation to create distance, my default response to verbal prompts is always the same:
"Have a nice day."
That’s it. I mean it too.
I get that the training is important but when we don’t consciously appreciate our current circumstances, whatever they may be, all we are doing is supporting a growing narrative that we’re not good enough. It’s almost the end of 2024 and there’s no room in this mad world for self sabotage.
“War sucks for everyone involved and nobody wins. It’s time to become unf*ckable with:”
1. Know what you’re about:
This is the foundation. When you have a deep, unshakeable understanding of who you are, what you value, and what makes your soul sing, external opinions lose their power. If you're still on that journey of self-discovery, that's okay! It's an adventure, not a destination. (Toby's always up for an adventure!)
2. Be about it!:
Once you know who you are, let it shine through in everything you do. Let your actions, words, and choices be a reflection of your authentic self. Don't dim your light to fit in; let it blaze and illuminate that you are exactly where you belong! I’ve learned the hard way that the most painful of all betrayals is self-betrayal and I won’t be the villain in my own story again!
3. Be militant about Compassion, For Yourself and Others:
Self-compassion is a superpower. As a no-nonsense northerner it seemed a bit wooly to me at first and getting a good grasp was a struggle. I worked in corporate sales at the time and the goal was to increase engagement with my clients so it helped me to think of compassion as the space where authentic engagement happens but first I would have to evict a squatter … judgment. Self-compassion is a superpower. As a no-nonsense northerner, the concept initially seemed a bit woolly and difficult to grasp. However, during my time in corporate sales, I realised that compassion was the key to authentic engagement with my clients. To achieve this, I first had to evict a squatter: judgement. No relationship can flourish where judgement squats.
Empathy is emotionally stepping into the shoes of another, compassion is wearing three pairs of shoes: Yours, Mine, and Reality’s until there’s one big shoe with the capacity for six feet.
Empathy is emotionally stepping into another's shoes. Compassion is wearing three pairs of shoes—yours, mine, and reality's—until there's one big shoe with the capacity for six feet.
4. Always look for the lesson!:
It blew my mind when I learned that skiers don’t look at trees, they look at the gap, because if you look for the trees that’s what you’ll find and no skier wants to find a tree. In my world the gaps are lessons, and that’s all I’m interested in.
Positive thinking isn’t always helpful-when you’re knee deep in the brown and sticky stuff no amount of polishing will change a thing-becoming a perpetual learner changes everything because every lesson learned is another gap to move through… and away from the brown and sticky stuff!
5. Be where your feet are:
Life is happening right now! Past or Future Tripping is tempting and nobody is immune to the lure of escapism but wherever we go, we take ourselves with us. Along with all the baggage.
Years ago, I started to refer to every minute a Temporary Forever and now I can’t see life any other way.I definitely don’t want that anyway!
6. Celebrate Your Weirdness:
Eight billion thems. One you.
This is a callback to the start of this list and knowing what you’re about with absolute clarity which means you know what your contribution is worth and your value is self-described and managed.
First though, be honest with yourself if you know you’re a bit of a sh*tty person and get to work on becoming the best version of yourself! Lying to yourself is an act of self-betrayal, just saying!
Embrace your quirks, your passions, your unique perspective. Be unhinged if it's authentically you (I don’t tether myself to the conventional sense of time and make no apologies for it).
The only person with the authority to apply conditions to your belonging is you.
7. Boundaries :
Imagine finding yourself in a place so dark that seeing your own hand is impossible. There's nothing to grasp for stability, and the fear that every step could be your last weighs heavily upon you.
This is how someone can feel when your boundaries are not communicated, discussed, and understood. You know yourself better than anyone else ever will, so guide people proactively.
Boundaries help us keep the people we want in our lives. Only a betrayal of a boundary could lead to them seeing it enforced from the outside.
8. Cultivate a Growth Mindset:
Your characterisation of life depends on the philosophy you subscribe to if you’re lucky. Most people are told what life is and don’t ever realise that it’s entirely subjective. Some call it a journey, others an adventure, and there are some that see it as a cruel exercise in futility.
I am so grateful for my five little senses but, to keep it one hundred, science estimates humans are unable to perceive more than 99% of our environment. I recently had a spirited debate with my logical-brother about the appearance of a pink paint on our kitchen wall while we were both looking at the same three inch square at the same time in the same place… so I’m not going to attempt to put the world in a box.
A different version of you exists in the mind of anyone that has ever even thought of you and if you remember shared access to an Excel Sheet before the cloud existed then you’ll know that version history is a festival of ridiculousness and it was a complete waste of time.
Be irresistibly you, your dog deserves it.
“
I don’t think it matters all that much as long as you’re not a c*nt.
”
